What’s That Stench? Oh It’s You!

Bush GettyImage

Bush GettyImage

I’ve got to admit, I’m all MJ’d out. So, In my search for the perfect story, I found some interesting facts on why people smell and the cure to their not-so-good funk. Since I am the sweetest Nurse on the planet I thought it would be nice to share these fab facts with my dear Funkenberry’s. (like it or not)

1. You missed you back, feet and crack while towel drying this morning!

WTF where you thinking? Please dry off completely. If you don’t you may end up smelling like that wet funky towel you left on the bathroom floor! If you have hard to reach places, get the blow dryer out and blow dry those spots. Less wet, less cause for fungus. Less stench.

2. 86 the Spandex!
So you think Spandex looks hot in that meat market you call a gym, but the fact is Spandex holds germs longer, and rubs on all those body parts you wish it wouldn’t. All that rubbing can cause irritation and acne in places you never thought a pimple could call ‘home’. Go green, opt for anti-microbial, wool, and cocona fabrics.

3. Wearing those expensive heels make your feet smell like your local Denny’s trash bin.
Don’t look the other way, you know your feet stank after a very long day in those pumps.

Before putting on your heels, rub antiperspirant on the bottom of your feet. Your purdy feet will sweat less and smell better ๐Ÿ™‚

4. Gum Addict? Expect to fart
That’s right, who cut the cheese? Oh it was you!

Our bodies can’t completely digest low-calorie sweeteners. When our intestines try to break sweeteners down, it can cause gas and diarrhea.
Try drinking perpermint tea instead. You know you wanna keep your friends ๐Ÿ™‚

5. Your meds may make you smell. Take 2 instead of the 30 pills a day.
Chemicals, chemicals, chemicals. Most meds aren’t good for you to begin with, so don’t be surprised if your breath smells like you licked the bottom of my converse shoe after I stepped in the FRESH dog pooh in my back yard. Pick and choose your meds wisely. Ask more questions about your medication, ask for alternatives, or natural remedies, your body will thank you for being more cautious.

6. Do you scare people with your snoring?

My sister sounds like a wounded whale at night. There are times when I have to hit her in the ribs so she will turn over and save me from going insane. That whale can be heard a country mile away. Did I mention I have to get in my car and drive 20 miles South to make her stop snoring?

Sleeping with your mouth open causes it to dry out, which enables dead cells to accumulate and decompose on your gums, teeth and cheeks. BINGO~ BAD BREATH!
Invest in a tongue scrapper, a soft bristled tooth brush and toothpaste that contains tea tree oil.

7. So all of a sudden you decided to go all veggies. Someone open a fu**** window!

Great for your health, bad for your reputation.
Fruits, veggies and the famous “bean” can keep you feeling full, but that is only because they are filled with natural gasses. BEWARE!
Add these foods gradually to your diet, let your body get used to them. This will lessen the blow on your grocery bill. BEANO is expensive.

Have A Safe And Wonderful Holiday ~ Nurse GoodBody



  • Best Best Online News
    Posted at 08:52h, 06 April

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    […] Read More here: drfunkenberry.com/2009/07/02/whats-that-stench-oh-its-you/ […]

  • Harriet Russell
    Posted at 01:17h, 01 May

    Bad breath or halitosis can be easily elimated by using mouthwash with hexetidine or triclosan.”..

  • stop snoring device reviews
    Posted at 14:38h, 13 March

    Generally I really do not post on weblogs, although I would like to express that this article actually forced me to do so! really nice post.

  • violetsareblue
    Posted at 21:15h, 02 July

    LOL..morning breath, that’s so gross. And guys always intent on wanting a sloppy kiss in the morning.
    It’s like they been eating shitoflakes for breakfast

    Posted at 19:21h, 02 July


    This includes;
    Above (hair) – Below (naughty parts, front, back and in between) and Under (under arms).

    Trust me people, it strips away orders, old deodorants/scents… leaving u room to apply new, not just new on top of remaining.

  • Nurse Goodbody
    Posted at 17:53h, 02 July

    *wonders if people think sheโ€™s got bad b.o.*
    funny. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I posted it to TRY to put a smile one someone’s face. Things have been a bit too serious lately. I dedicate this post to my dear sister!

  • fam
    Posted at 16:23h, 02 July


    Thanks for this light-hearted report ๐Ÿ˜‰

    *wonders if people think she’s got bad b.o.*

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