What’s That Stench? Oh It’s You!

Bush GettyImage
Bush GettyImage

Bush GettyImage

I've got to admit, I'm all MJ'd out. So, In my search for the perfect story, I found some interesting facts on why people smell and the cure to their not-so-good funk. Since I am the sweetest Nurse on the planet I thought it would be nice to share these fab facts with my dear Funkenberry's. (like it or not)

1. You missed you back, feet and crack while towel drying this morning!

WTF where you thinking? Please dry off completely. If you don't you may end up smelling like that wet funky towel you left on the bathroom floor! If you have hard to reach places, get the blow dryer out and blow dry those spots. Less wet, less cause for fungus. Less stench.

2. 86 the Spandex!
So you think Spandex looks hot in that meat market you call a gym, but the fact is Spandex holds germs longer, and rubs on all those body parts you wish it wouldn't. All that rubbing can cause irritation and acne in places you never thought a pimple could call 'home'. Go green, opt for anti-microbial, wool, and cocona fabrics.

3. Wearing those expensive heels make your feet smell like your local Denny's trash bin.
Don't look the other way, you know your feet stank after a very long day in those pumps.

Before putting on your heels, rub antiperspirant on the bottom of your feet. Your purdy feet will sweat less and smell better :)

4. Gum Addict? Expect to fart
That's right, who cut the cheese? Oh it was you!

Our bodies can't completely digest low-calorie sweeteners. When our intestines try to break sweeteners down, it can cause gas and diarrhea.
Try drinking perpermint tea instead. You know you wanna keep your friends :)

5. Your meds may make you smell. Take 2 instead of the 30 pills a day.
Chemicals, chemicals, chemicals. Most meds aren't good for you to begin with, so don't be surprised if your breath smells like you licked the bottom of my converse shoe after I stepped in the FRESH dog pooh in my back yard. Pick and choose your meds wisely. Ask more questions about your medication, ask for alternatives, or natural remedies, your body will thank you for being more cautious.

6. Do you scare people with your snoring?

My sister sounds like a wounded whale at night. There are times when I have to hit her in the ribs so she will turn over and save me from going insane. That whale can be heard a country mile away. Did I mention I have to get in my car and drive 20 miles South to make her stop snoring?

Sleeping with your mouth open causes it to dry out, which enables dead cells to accumulate and decompose on your gums, teeth and cheeks. BINGO~ BAD BREATH!
Invest in a tongue scrapper, a soft bristled tooth brush and toothpaste that contains tea tree oil.

7. So all of a sudden you decided to go all veggies. Someone open a fu**** window!

Great for your health, bad for your reputation.
Fruits, veggies and the famous "bean" can keep you feeling full, but that is only because they are filled with natural gasses. BEWARE!
Add these foods gradually to your diet, let your body get used to them. This will lessen the blow on your grocery bill. BEANO is expensive.

Have A Safe And Wonderful Holiday ~ Nurse GoodBody

Filed under: Life, Uncategorized 6 Comments

Burger King: Seven Incher Ad, ‘It’ll Blow Your Mind Away’

BK Sevenincher Ad Courtesy of Burger King
BK Sevenincher Ad Courtesy of Burger King

BK Sevenincher Ad Courtesy of Burger King

An agency in Singapore made these outdoor ads for Burger King.  Oh HELL NO! They better not post this sh** in the US.  What the hell, will I  have to close my eyes to successfully make it through the BK drive through?

"Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick and Hearty Steak Sauce."


Natalie Portman Giving The Camera Good Hate

Make Hate To The Camera.  Hate It.  Yea, Thats It.  Photo: Splashnewsonline.com
Make Hate To The Camera.  Hate It.  Yea, Thats It.  Photo: Splashnewsonline.com

Make Hate To The Camera. Hate It. Yea, That's It. Photo: Splashnewsonline.com

The camera's caught Natalie Portman in Manhattan  on the set of her new movie "Love and Other Impossible Pursuits” and she did not look too happy about it. 

Maybe I am going to read too much into this but here goes.

Walking somewhere between a Zoolander blue steel look and looking like she was 2 seconds away from snatching the camera, that look actually looks kind of hot.  Total invasion of privacy as she is not filming.  Totally looks angry, but dang, she looks angry hot.

It's like you want to argue with her for a little bit and then kind of make out with her afterwards and hope you are both turned on.  Then you are hoping that you get that cute Natalie Portman smile you usually get that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Again, I did say I may read too much into this, so hope you forgive me Miss blue steel.-Dr.FB


Michael Jackson Has Standing Offer To Play O2 Arena

We have just learned at the Doctor's office that Michael Jackson has been given a standing offer to play the O2 Arena in London for one or more dates.

AEG entertainment confirmed the offer in hopes of a residency with Mr.Jackson.-Dr.FB


Obama is getting an “Entourage”?

So Rahm Emanuel is President (Love saying it)Barack Obama's new Chief of Staff.

Rahm's brother is none other than Ari Emanuel. Does the name sound familiar to you?

If you are a fan of HBO's Entourage you should. Jeremy Piven's character of Ari Gold is based on Rahm's brother Ari.

So there now is a real Hollywood connection with Obama. Say hello to your mother for me and Mark Wahlburg.-Dr.FB


Michael Crichton Passes Away

Sad news in the world of entertainment as the creator of Jurassic Park and ER, Michael Crichton passed away.

He was 66 years old.
He is survived by his wife and daughter.

We will have more on this later.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Crichton family.-Dr.FB


CONFIRMED!!!! Janet Cancells Tour!

As we told you first, Janet Jackson's last show on the tour was the MSG show in New York over the weekend.

So that means all the postponed shows from last month are all cancelled!!

Not a bad tour, just bad timing, marketing, promotion, and economy.

I feel for the Janet fans. Its like getting exposed in public on purpose. Then feeling bad about it. Oh...wait.-Dr.FB