26 Sep They Got It Covered
Jon Stewart On Sarah Palin: Everyone likes new and shiny. We’re bored. What’s great about that is [Democratic VP candidate Joe] Biden is an absolutely eccentric character. That’s how powerful Palin’s story is — it has cast the first African-American presidential nominee, the oldest [non-incumbent] presidential nominee, and a really wild cork vice presidential candidate completely out of the picture. The press is 6-year-olds playing soccer; nobody has a position, it’s just ”Where’s the ball? Where’s the ball? Sarah Palin has the ball!” [Mimes a mob running after her.] Because they can only cover one thing.
Colbert on McCain last week saying our economy was strong and then a few hours later saying it was weak:I’ve got one for you. McCain said, ”The fundamentals of our economy are strong” and ”Our economy is at risk.” One was at 9 a.m., the other was 11 a.m. Our joke was ”You can be strong and at risk, too. Like, a muscleman who wouldn’t wear a condom. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Stewart on if this election is any different than the previous two.: I was convinced an Obama/McCain campaign would be measurably different on almost all standards. And to watch it become Bush/Kerry, Bush/Gore, has been one of the most dissatisfying experiences.
Stewart on the economy: We were in this huge credit crisis, out of money. Then the Fed goes, We’ll give you a trillion dollars, and all of a sudden Wall Street is like, ”I can’t believe we got away with it!” Can you imagine if someone said, ”I shouldn’t have bought that sports car because it means I can’t have my house,” and the bank just said, ”All right, you can have your house. And you know what? Keep the car.” [He throws up his arms joyfully and shouts] ”Yeaaaaah, I get to keep the car! Wait, do I have to give the money back?” ”No, it doesn’t matter.” ”Yeah, I’m gonna get another car! I’m gonna do the same thing the same way, except twice as f—ed up!”
Colbert on the economy: The idea that Lehman Brothers doesn’t get any money and AIG does reminds me very much of ”Iran is a mortal enemy because they have not achieved a nuclear weapon. But North Korea is a country we can work with, because they have a nuclear weapon.” The idea is, Get big or go home. How big can you f— up? Can you f— up so bad that you would ruin the world economy? If it’s just 15,000 who are out of jobs, no. You have to actually be a global f—up to get any help.
It’s sad a majority of americans get the news from Stewart and Colbert. They do the job that the news stations just don’t.-Dr.FB