05 Jan No. 4 Courtney Love Versus Dr. Funkenberry
Ahh. Courtney Love & I. Me and Courtney. I was a new blogger in the entertainment world. She was…drunk. New, I needed a story. Who knew I would run into one at a police station. Little did I know that she would be sending me emails but also attacking me on her myspace blog. Long before TMZ or any other blogger, Court went after me. Ooh boy.
On March 6th, I posted this:
“Hello Officers, I’m Courtney Love.” Oh boy. She had the brusies and that fresh rolled out of bed hair at 3:30 in the afternoon look. She went to the front desk and told the officers I know you know who I am. Only one of L.A.’s finest knew who she was, but was willing to help her.
She told them I am not turning myself in for anything if that is what they were thinking. I have an appointment to see Dectective (will leave it blank). As she was doing this, she kept touching the bruise on her elbow and looking down at her shoes. (Maybe to see if they were still on?)
The officer let her by andhanded her a visitor pass as I caught a whiff of her breath. Ahh. Nothing like being drunk in the middle of an afternoon. The officer led her to the elevator as Courtney was having a conversation with herself that continued while she was waiting for the elevator and after she got on.
Finally getting to the desk to have the officer help me. He was still trying to tell his partners who she was. “That’s Courtney Love, Man. I could sing you one of her songs. ” I looked at him to try and then he started singing “Since You’ve Been Gone.” I just shook my head n wondered what Kelly Clarkson would think?
Courtney responded back by pretending to be someone else, with the intials of CL none the less.
Here are some responses we received; stating she did not haveto stand in line, andher breath did not smell like Gin, (Um, we said alcohol Courtney, not Gin. Hmm.) She mentioned her outfit was worth 10k andthe shoes were originals. The person Courtney was pretending to be said she was there with 3 friends. Only me and two others were there, so that was a lie Court.
We did not tell why Courtney was there but the person said she was there if you had had all of the money you earned and inherited stolen and embezzled from your daughter. Bam, we were sitting on a story a week before it broke of how Courtney claimed all of her money was embezzled. Keep talking Court.
Courtney called us names that people on message boards would call me months later andit would make me laugh because they were on the same wavelength as Courtney. Ooh Boy! Courtney…I mean CL shared with us that she was the no. 7 most glam woman in the world and had movie projects and a new album coming out over the summer. Um, what happened to that Court?
She thought I was a guy with a handlebar mustache and even admitted to being a fan of the site. Oh man.
Courtney went from saying she had been sober for 5 years to the 2nd email saying she is hardly ever drunk. Sometimes, you haveto be drunk to understand Courtney’s Myspace blogs.
Courtey..I mean CL, even gave us advice on her 2nd email;
you just randomely posted lies and its your karma. but id fix it if i were you, you seem so eager to hop on some tabloid train you donteven understand.
I stand by the story and it is completely true. As for tabloid, others may try to discredit us, but we have broken many stories over the past few months.
In her 3rd blog/email rant about us, she said Courtney does not write so horrible. Um, yea, RIGHT! She even referred to me as Mr. Mustache. Ha. No mustache my dear Courtney.
We always tried to be cordial in every last post of you, but it never took. The posts were rather long but perhaps we will repost them in the next few days so you can read them.
So Courtney, what do you have to say now about us? Do you still know how to reach us? Hit is up after your alcohol buzz wears off.-Dr.FB