Drfunkenberry.com
4Mar
2010
4

Not Cool! Perez Hilton Calls Megan Fox A Slut!

Megan Fox In Rolling Stone. Photo: RollingStone.com

Megan Fox In Rolling Stone. Photo: RollingStone.com

Perez. Perez. Perez.  When are you going to shut your pie-hole?

Megan Fox did an interview recently where she stated she only had 2 sexual partners; her child-hood sweetheart and and her long-time boyfriend and friend of the site Brian Austin Green.

She stated: “I can never have sex with someone that I don’t love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I’ve never even come close to having a one-night stand.”

Perez then called her a whore and said she is not including all the rub and tugs she did to get film roles.  GTFOOHWTBS!

Perez, where is your proof buddy?  It is that kind of stupidity where if a woman is raped and she was dressing provocatively, you would say she was wanting it, right?   Fail Perez! 

I don't care of she had trouble on sets of movies and said crap about directors.  That is unprofessional of her but YOU, cross the line you dumb motard!  (Just so because I have a feeling you don't know what a motard is Perez, it's someone who is more than retarded.)

I would say let's meet up at The Grove and have it out but your all talk no action self would try to sue me and bitch down. 

Man, Sam Rubin was right. Pull those panties out of your behind and stop being a talentless jackass.  You look like a poor man's Buster Poindexter. 

Don't ever call a woman a slut because she said she only had 2 lovers.  Who gives a crap if she had 2 or 20.  Who are you? 

Also, instead of talking crap about ME to assistants, why don't you contact me yourself?  You know how.  Perez, you know I will lay the verbal smack-down on you so bad it would be like I am Chris Brown and you are Rihanna. 

They just got tired of your demands and calling their clients sluts and understand there is no future in your funk.-Dr.FB

P.S. To Sam Rubin, anytime KTLA wants me on, I'll be there.

5Aug
2009
1

Heather Mills Goes Kate Gosselin On Us

Heather Gosselin...I Mean Kate Mills.  Oh, You Get It! Photo: Bauergriffen.com
Heather Gosselin...I Mean Kate Mills.  Oh, You Get It! Photo: Bauergriffen.com

Heather Gosselin...I Mean Kate Mills. Oh, You Get It! Photo: Bauergriffen.com

It wasn't bad enough that i had to run into a mom who had the Kate Gosselin look at at the local Chili's a couple of weeks ago, but now Heather Mills is wearing it?  Gag!

I swear, wasn't Perez Hilton's whack self wearing that 'doo a year or two ago? Now we have to have a doppelganger of former Beatle wives wearing it?  What in the name of Karina Kay is going on over here? Seriously.

It wasn't cool that week in 1985 where some woman from Idaho wore it and it is not cool now. So Heather Mills, cut it shorter honey.  You still look like a motard.-Dr.FB

27Jul
2009
2

Jon Gosselin Proves He Is A Douche By Not Taking Care Of His Kids

Kate Gosselin Taking Care Of The Kids.  Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com
Kate Gosselin Taking Care Of The Kids.  Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

Kate Gosselin Taking Care Of The Kids. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

It doesn't take wearing an Ed Hardy shirt to make you look like a douche (yes, you two guys at Target yesterday, I am talking about you too) John Gosselin. Not taking care of your kids as well makes you look like a super douche as well jack-ass!

Your killing me here John. You are making Kate look better each day and that is something the tummy tuck and her cankles could never do.  Be a man, Motard! Wipe your butt with the Ed hardy shirt, put on a regular white Hanes one and head over to PA and be a father to your 8 kids. 

The last time we saw you with them was back on July 4th where you said you don't want to miss the holidays with them. Does that mean we won't see you hanging around them til Labor Day?

Man up, fool. We better see play-doh on your face next weekend with them.-Dr.FB