Drfunkenberry.com
30Aug
2012
2

There Is A God & He Is Not A Guido! Jersey Shore Ends After 6 Seasons!

After 6 seasons, the Jersey Shore will be leaving the MTV airwaves. No more Snooki. No more J-Wowww. No more Situation. No more Pauly D. Well...that is not exactly true.

Snooki and J. Wowww have their own MTV show (Snooki And JWowww) now and so does Pauly D. (The Pauly D. Project.) but the rest of the Jersey Shore cast does not.

Season 6 of the Jersey Shore will debut on October 4th on MTV.-DocFB

1Feb
2012
0

Snooki Says She’s Not Pregnant Or Fat! We Say….Beeeech!

Snooki. File Photo
Snooki. File Photo

Snooki. File Photo

Rumors of "Jersey Shore" star  Snooki being pregnant hit the Internet today and Snooki was quick to say she is not pregnant and she is not fat. We responded with a beeeeeeech!

The site Radar Online who has stolen stories from this site before, reported that Snooki is pregnant.  The star not only denied it but wanted to bring up she is not even fat to be pregnant.  Snooki, real name Nicole Polizzi, has lost a tremendous amount of weight recently, finally making her head look normal size finally.

Nicole is currently dating Jionni Lavelle, who she calls her "Guido in shining armor" and is waiting for him to propose.

Let me apologize for wasting anyone's time who actually read this story.  On that note....."beeeeeeeeech!"-DocFB

Diagnosis:  No Guido cookies on the way.....

31Aug
2011
1

Snooki Wants To Be Like Kim Kardashian

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was on "Chelsea Lately" talking about drinking vodka, her boyfriend, the Jersey Shore, and her new line of slippers and her upcoming book.  She wants to be like Kim Kardashian.  Does that mean a sex tape of Snooki doing the Nookie coming soon?

Snooki went after "The Situation" and that she would never sleep with him.  As for Kim Kardashian, she feels she is a great entrepreneur, although we are not sure if she knows how to spell entrepreneur.

She is quite an interesting guest.  They even talk about whale sperm. Plus she burps. Ok then. This clip has it all  Check out the clip above.-Dr.FB

Diagnosis:  Still Waiting For Snookie's Cookies....

28Aug
2011
4

Did Snooki Bring An STD To MTV’s Video Music Awards?

Snooki. Photo: GettyImages.com
Snooki. Photo: GettyImages.com

Snooki. Photo: GettyImages.com

Here is Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi before the MTV Video Music Awards on the Black Carpet.  The Jersey Shore Store appeared solo and along with the rest of the cast sans "The Situation" who was absent.

As for the STD comment, STD stands for Stop The Drama, according to the Jersey Shore castmates.  Perhaps she may have brought the other one as well.-Dr.FB

Diagnosis:  Get Snooki's Cookies!

 

28Aug
2011
4

Maroon 5 Frontman Adam Levine Tells MTV “F-U”

Adam Levine File Photo
Adam Levine File Photo

Adam Levine File Photo

Adam Levine took to his Twitter page to tell MTV "F-U" and we are pretty sure it didn't stand for "Forget You" at all.

Yes, we made sure to use a photo of Adam at an MTV Awards show as a little way of being a jerk to his message although we hear it loud and clear.  Thanks to Mishell1972 for the heads up.

Adam had this to say about the MTV Video Music Awards;

the VMA's. one day a year when MTV pretends to still care about music. I'm drawing a line in the sand. fuck you VMA's.

So did MTV respond back?

Soooo you'll be tuning in at 9/8C tomorrow right?  (BTW, bonus points if you TwitPic your 2004 Moonman!)

Adam responded back with 2 comments to show that he is not regretting what he said;

still waiting to have my "jerry macguire mission statement moment of deep regret..." not happening. phew!

i may be a pop singer. but every once in a while the angsty teenager in me just blurts out some raw honesty.  it's a reflex.

We wonder if the comments Adam made will change how often MTV plays their videos.....when they do play videos.

Although what Adam said is true, it is rare that an artist just comes out and says it so matter of factly.  Other artists have said it and then...they can't get a video on MTV..no matter how good it is.  They will just say it is not good enough.

Straight up, MTV, if you can't take the comments, do something about it.  The M in MTV used to stand for Music and not Mooki or Snookie or whatever.  I am promoting the MTV Awards HEAVILY on my site.  The reason is not because of MTV but because MUSIC MATTERS to me.  Anytime there is a light shined on music, I will champion it.

The MTV Awards will be highly rated this year.  Why?  Not because MTV put a lot into the show....(They didn't even get a host this year) but because people are STARVING for live musical performances.  I wish I had a billion dollars so I could show MTV how it's done!  Take em to church, Adam!-Dr.FB

Diagnosis:  eMpty TV

30Mar
2011
0

Snooki Gets Booed At WresleMania News Conference As The Rock Electrifies

Snooki. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com
Snooki. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

Snooki. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi showed up at the Wrestlemania news conference in New York today and was greeted with boos. 

She wore a top that read brunette mafia..something that maybe Cyndi Lauper would have worn to a Wrestlemania...if it was 1985!

Snooki will be involved in a match with her partners Trish Stratus and John Morrison versus Michelle McCool and Layla (named LayCool) and Dirk Diggler Dolf Ziggler.

The Rock was on hand as he returns to host Wrestlemania.  There was electricity in the air when the Rock was on scene and Snooki's boos were gone.  The energy doubled when Cena and Snooki joined the Rock on stage, with the Rock looking none too happy.  But he could be a better actor than you all think.

Are you ordering Wrestlemania?-Dr.FB

Diagnosis:  The Rock Is Bringing It

The Rock, Snooki, & John Cena. Photo: GettyImages.com
The Rock, Snooki, & John Cena. Photo: GettyImages.com
1Nov
2010
0

Snooki Gets Herself Into A Pickle On Halloween

Snooki. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com
Snooki. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

Snooki. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

Well, at least she wasn't anything orange for Halloween!  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi dressed up as a pickle, or what looks like Queen of the Pickles...and you can take that anyway you like just as long as she doesn't have to tickle my pickle!

She was hosting an event at Jet Nightclub in Vegas with a New Jersey theme.  Really?  Shocker. 

So, while a lot of people were dressing up as Snooki for Halloween, she was dressing up as Queen of the Pickles.  Hmm. 

What do you think of Snooki's costume?  Is it a Jersey thing and we would not understand?-Dr.FB

16Sep
2010
0

Jersey Shore “Teenage Dream” Snooki Version

Is there a better parody of this Katy Perry song?  There were great ones for "California Girls" but the ones for "Teenage Dream" are lacking.

Oh well.  This one can't be so bad, right?  I mean they go after Snooki and the Jersey Shore.  Sigh.  They both own a moment of pop culture forever.  That's no dream.-Dr.FB

9Feb
2010
1

Snooki Gets Her Guido Cookie

Snooki and Guido Juicehead.
Snooki and Guido Juicehead.

Snooki and Guido Juicehead. Photo: SplashNewsOnline.com

Snooki and her boytoy Emilio, who she is calling Guido Juicehead landed at LaGuardia airport yesterday and made sure to give him a kiss for the cameras.

MTV is reeling in the stars for partying too much and only allowing them to do 2 personal appearances a week.  Also, the producers have to approve the appearances.  Seems like MTV might be a afraid of a little too much over exposure too fast?

The "Jersey Shore" reality star has been everywhere as of late and is a guilty pleasure of celebs.  Emma Roberts was on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" "The Jay Leno Show" last night and admitted she was all about Jersey Shore as Jay surprised her with an autograph of the cast and a GTL shirt.

Perhaps Snooki may want to get her man a GTL shirt because that Ed Hardy shirt is more played out than that "Pants On The Ground" song.  Either get him that GTL shirt or one of these. I know Snooki would look in it.-Dr.FB